Times are a little different now.
I feel a sense of urgency to hold on just a bit. This August has rolled around very quickly, leaving most of my summer a blur. Itís been work, days off, sending the kids on mission trips, seeing the last one gain the freedom of a driverís license, and trying to carve out time to breathe.
I donít like carving time out to breathe. I want to have it without carving it out.
We are scurrying around trying to find the time for school shopping. School shopping has always been a sacred day for us. We take the entire day at our leisure, shop the supply aisle, shoe stores, and whatever clothing stores have the best deals. We would leave early, and come back late, with lots of food in between. Sometimes a movie would be involved. It also always ended in a trip to Taggartís Ė and a big fat sundae with pecans. Ask Selena sometime about how she discovered phosphates there. Now, what with soccer practices, work, and the busyness of our lives itís becoming increasingly difficult to fit that day in.
And school starts August 21.
I donít think Iím stressing so much about the school shopping as what this school years represents. This is Selenaís senior year. My girl who works so hard at everything Ė grades, sports, and life. This is her final high school hurrah, and Iím feeling it. It also means that next year is Hunterís senior year. These two years will fly by in moments, leaving me wondering why they arenít still in elementary school anymore. Itís inconceivable that these moments in the string of our life events are coming to pass.
Itís time for me to let the grains of sand in that hourglass keep on slipping through my fingers. Iím embracing these days for what they are Ė Iím not pining away wishing for their childhood back. Iím excited about days that lie ahead for my husband and me. Hopefully a little travel and doing things we never could do when the kids were small.
Still, though, when these dog days of August swing around my mind hearkens back to each of the days that my kids started school. Their faces so small and full of worry as they boarded that big yellow bus that carried them away Ė only to come home so excited about the day that all worry had dissipated. Thatís what Iím feeling now, that small sense of worry that I know will disappear in time.
Time stops for no man. Iím no exception, so I will ride it out, carve out time, and hug them while I can.
Published: August 17, 2012