What is it with back to school that brings on the nostalgia, waterworks, or downright glee? I’m sure the glee comes from all those days of too much freedom and moms going nuts that are waiting to reclaim their homes. I used to be one of those. My kids went hog-wild in the summer, which is exactly what they needed to do. But when the end of August rolled around, I was waiting at the bus stop with them – you know, shoving them on the bus?

Times are a little different now.

I feel a sense of urgency to hold on just a bit. This August has rolled around very quickly, leaving most of my summer a blur. It’s been work, days off, sending the kids on mission trips, seeing the last one gain the freedom of a driver’s license, and trying to carve out time to breathe.

I don’t like carving time out to breathe. I want to have it without carving it out.

We are scurrying around trying to find the time for school shopping. School shopping has always been a sacred day for us. We take the entire day at our leisure, shop the supply aisle, shoe stores, and whatever clothing stores have the best deals. We would leave early, and come back late, with lots of food in between. Sometimes a movie would be involved. It also always ended in a trip to Taggart’s – and a big fat sundae with pecans. Ask Selena sometime about how she discovered phosphates there. Now, what with soccer practices, work, and the busyness of our lives it’s becoming increasingly difficult to fit that day in.

And school starts August 21.

I don’t think I’m stressing so much about the school shopping as what this school years represents. This is Selena’s senior year. My girl who works so hard at everything – grades, sports, and life. This is her final high school hurrah, and I’m feeling it. It also means that next year is Hunter’s senior year. These two years will fly by in moments, leaving me wondering why they aren’t still in elementary school anymore. It’s inconceivable that these moments in the string of our life events are coming to pass.

It’s time for me to let the grains of sand in that hourglass keep on slipping through my fingers. I’m embracing these days for what they are – I’m not pining away wishing for their childhood back. I’m excited about days that lie ahead for my husband and me. Hopefully a little travel and doing things we never could do when the kids were small.

Still, though, when these dog days of August swing around my mind hearkens back to each of the days that my kids started school. Their faces so small and full of worry as they boarded that big yellow bus that carried them away – only to come home so excited about the day that all worry had dissipated. That’s what I’m feeling now, that small sense of worry that I know will disappear in time.

Time stops for no man. I’m no exception, so I will ride it out, carve out time, and hug them while I can.